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Networking in Adulthood: Dating For Friends…Online

One of the great things about blogging is that you get to read all this stuff you’d never come into contact with normally, simply because you...

One of the great things about blogging is that you get to read all this stuff you’d never come into contact with normally, simply because you are now paying attention to – say – adulthood. This past week, for example, I can’t tell you how many wonderful reviews I’ve read of the movie, Where The Wild Things Are, all of which talked about its appeal for grown-ups.

Another great thing about blogging is that you get to know (ok, e-know) all different kinds of people whom you’d never meet in real life. That connection might come about because they left a comment on your blog or started following you on Twitter. Or because you saw them interviewed on someone else’s blog and you decided to get in touch. Whatever the source, the social side of blogging is one if its many wonderful attractions.

It was through a combination of these two channels that I came to discover my new e-BFF, Sharon Hyman. I was scrolling through one of the many “search alerts” I routinely send out on topics like “adulthood” and “middle age,” when I came across an article in the Canadian National Post entitled Imposter Adults. Intrigued, I read on. It was all about Sharon’s reflections on the process of growing up. It read:

I always thought that being a grownup meant you had the external trappings of adulthood: marriage, kids, a mortgage, maybe even a driver’s licence! Of course, having none of these, I presumed I couldn’t possibly be seen as a proper adult in this society. I also figured that being a grown-up meant that you had conquered the hopeless insecurities and fears that derailed you in high school –again, something I have yet to achieve. With these thoughts in mind, I set out to discover if anyone really feels like a grown-up on the inside, and what the concept of grown-uphood really means.

Sound familiar?

I immediately went to Sharon’s website, Neverbloomers (subtitle: The Search For GrownUphood), where I found out that she’s actually making a movie about said topic. I watched the hysterically funny video on the front page of the website, which includes clips from some of her interviews for the film.

And then – because who am I to turn down a personality test when proferred? – I took the Neverbloomer “Have You Found Your Inner Adult Quiz?” (Needless to say, I haven’t, though I did receive the result “grown up in training” which sounded about right to me).

I promptly emailed Sharon to express my delight and appreciation at having found her website. The rest is history. We’re now “friends” on Facebook.

I once wrote a commentary for Chicago Public Radio about the elusive search for female friends in adulthood. The thrust of the piece was to illustrate – by example – what a nightmare it is to have to “date” for friends once you grow up and have kids. But in this brave new world where most community-building takes place online, that’s all gone now. And so, like millions of men and women before me – I’m now discovering the joys of online “dating”…for friends.

And what a joy it is.


Speaking of e-friendships, follow me on Twitter.

Image: 42/365 Meet My Best Friend II by Leah Mancl via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.

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  1. Sharon Hyman October 19, 2009 at 5:00 pm #

    Thanks, Delia, I felt the same way when I saw your website…kindred spirits for sure! Great dating you!

  2. CK October 20, 2009 at 12:09 am #

    I always found it difficult to make friends. Particularly because I march to my own drum. As I got older, I was happy to have just few friends & spent the rest of my time watching TV.

    Slowly, I joined the techno age & discovered Facebook & Twitter. Found old schoolmates, family friends, etc. Never make any dates to meet ’em. I’m content to keep up with them on line.

    Then I started developping more of an interest in politics & discovered blogging through some of my on-line friends. I now have my own, mainly political commentary, current events, some pop culture. I’ve made more online friends now through progressive bloggers, one site where my blog as well as hundreds of other left wing blogs are syndicated. Friends with a common interest.

    I’m already thinking about starting my own podcast out of a growing frustration for contemporary media.

    I’ve now even given up TV.

    • delialloyd October 20, 2009 at 9:16 am #

      Thanks CK for this thoughtful comment. I’m glad that the techno-friendship thing works for you, too. I will have to check out your political commentary-sounds right up my alley! I’ve found that doing political blogging for has widened my circle considerably as well…(though not sure all those e-acquaintances want to “date” me!)

  3. online dating October 22, 2009 at 6:43 am #

    .., techno-friendship really works, i heard a lot of stories too.. online dating really widened..

  4. Leah Mancl November 6, 2009 at 6:04 pm #

    That’s my picture right there that you used. :)
    I love when I see things like that.
    You just brightened my day, ma’am.

    • delialloyd November 7, 2009 at 8:55 am #

      and you, mine! it’s so cool when I get to *meet* (in cybersense, that is) the photographers! it’s a lovely photo. Thank you.

  5. Mohamed Haddan February 13, 2010 at 9:47 am #

    Hello, wonderful. I must tell that I enjoyed scanning this article. I discovered it this morning and soon felt that it was engrossing, therefore it prompted me to add a mark. I have a impression readers will most likely harmonize your opinion about this subject.

  6. elaine dating March 8, 2010 at 12:40 pm #

    Bournemouth is still one of the greatest places to be in the Uk if you are single and looking for a partner, small enough not to be lost in the crowd, but big enough to find someone!


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