I got a one-line email from a friend the other day. It read: “We’ve found our forever house!” Attached was a photo of a large, stately English country home, with columned entrance and a wrap-around drive.
I was really happy for her. I knew that this was exactly what she wanted. She recently left London with her husband and three children in search of more space, better schools and a better quality of life.
But a tiny voice inside my head asked: “Where’s *my* forever house?”
The truth is, I don’t have one and I’m not sure that I ever will. Unlike most people, for whom home ownership remains a universal aspiration, I’ve never really fantasized about having a dream house.
A lot of that has to do with my own (admittedly odd) psyche. I’ve written before about how I find safety in movement. This means that I actually feel more secure when I know that change is on the horizon, or at least potentially so. It explains why I like to change careers and why I like to change continents (though fortunately – so far, at least – *not* why I like to change husbands.) So committing to anything beyond my family – and especially a place – makes me feel…anxious.
In the extreme, of course, this kind of rootlessness can induce a certain anomie and soullessness. Mike T has a thoughtful review of the new George Clooney movie – Up In The Air – over on his blog A Boat Against The Current. Mike points out that when such mobility becomes a national past time, you get a country full of people who are loyal to plastic (in the form of frequent flyer miles) rather than blood or community.
Quite possibly. In my own case, however, I prefer to think that I just have a different definition of home than most people do. It’s one that – as Kristen put it so nicely on Motherese awhile back – is rooted more in a state of being than in a place on the map.
Or maybe I just haven’t grown up yet…Gosh, let’s hope not. What on Earth would I blog about?
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Image: Evanston Art Center by beautifulcataya via Flickr under a Creative Commons license.
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What does it mean if your “forever” house is an RV?? We look at it as …a wonderful compromise!
What does it mean if your “forever” house is an RV?? We look at it as Small House, Big Yard …a wonderful compromise!
Love it Ann Rose!
Forever is a famously long time. I actually know one (1!) person who, at the ripe age of 77, has always lived in the house where he was born. I do not expect to meet another.
Settling down in one home forever scares me, (though we will be in London for awhile, this will involve a couple moves within it, i’m sure).
I love the idea of living and experiencing many different ways of life. I’d happily compromise with having several ‘forever’ homes! :)
yes me too. thanks for dropping by, lindsey!