June 14, 2010
For my mother’s 79th birthday later this month, her four children are going to give her an e-reader. We have yet to decide which one to give her, but she’s very keen to join this trend.
As a frequent traveler, and avid reader, she finds that she’s always lugging 12 hard-cover books wherever she goes (often London to visit me!). So she’d like to lighten her load. Apparently, several of her friends already have e-readers and they are all thrilled with them.
I have mixed feelings about this present. On the one hand, as someone who — by her own admission — barely has running water and electricity, my mother is not exactly what you’d call techno-savvy. So there is a dragging-her-into-the-21st century quality to this gift, which, as someone who spends all day online, I welcome with open arms.
On the other hand, I’m also wary of the onslaught of e-readers. I worry about what happens to our society when we no longer read those great artifacts of the 20th century: books.
Read the rest of this post at www.PoliticsDaily.com…
Image: 23/365 plus 1 [eReader] by The Hamster Factor via flickr under a Creative Commons license.
6 Comments | 
Books, Creativity, Gadgets | Tagged: Verlyn Klinkenborg, kindle, roger ebert, book groups, reading, Books, Laura Miller, ereader, hardcover books, travelling with books, brain development and twitter, brain development and novels, kids reading books, having books in your house, children reading, reading to children, ereaders, ereaders vs. books, Nicholas Carr, The Shallows, War and Peace, brain development and internet, contemplative thought, importance of libraries, social value of reading, commercialization of reading | 
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Posted by delialloyd
June 7, 2010
11 Comments | Books, Expat Living, Trends/Studies/Research | Tagged: automated checkout, Cambridge library, future of libraries, John Keats, librarians, libraries, libraries and democracy, libraries and education, library books, library budget cuts, library cards, library closures, library closures in Boston, library hours, london review of books, Ode To A Nightingale, reduced library hours, reduced library hours in Los Angeles | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
June 2, 2010
Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.
I’ve just moved. One of the things that happens when you move is that you get a chance to reassess your life . You reconnect with your past, you re-imagine your future and you start noticing things about your life that might have passed you by because you hadn’t opened a certain cupboard in four years.
One of the things I’ve noticed is how frugally our family lives in London compared to when we lived in the United States. Some of that has to do with the global economic recession of the past few years, some of it with the exchange rate, and some of it with the exorbitant cost of living in London.
But we’ve also made some smart choices about how to cut costs and I thought I’d share some of those with you today:
1. Don’t buy books. OK, this may sound insane coming from someone who regularly posts about books and reading, but it’s a good piece of advice. Owning a lot of books not only wastes a tremendous amount of space, but you have to ask yourself how often you actually re-read them. (In my case: almost never.) Books are expensive. The average hardcover book retails for about $26 right now. Whereas in the library, you’ve got loads of choices and they’re all free. So as long as you request them sufficiently in advance, the sky’s the limit to how many books you can read without ever spending a cent. (OK, I’m not counting late fees….)
2. Don’t buy movies. I have a good friend here in London who watches a lot of films. But whenever I recommend one to him, he always says “Great! I’ll go buy it this afternoon!” This friend isn’t loaded and I always wonder why on earth he spends so much money on movies when you can subscribe to something like Netflix (US) or LoveFilm (UK) and see all the movies you like for a low monthly fee. (Or get them at the library for nothing. See above). We own a few films, but most of them are for the kids and almost all have been presents. It just strikes me as a really easy way to cut down your budget without losing out on anything.
3. Make your own coffee. This one is a no-brainer. If you add up all the money you spend on buying coffee out everyday – let’s say you spend $2.50/day on some kind of fancy coffee drink, that adds up really quickly: $16/week, $74/month, $888 a year to be precise. (This is, by the way, is exactly the sort of logic we used to use when I worked at Chicago Public Radio in order to exhort listeners to donate to our station.) For $800, you can buy a really nice espresso machine these days, and possibly even a grinder to go with it. I’ve gotten to the point where I actually prefer my own coffee to the stuff they sell on the High Street. I can even send you a video on the optimal way to tamp your espresso (free of charge.)
4. Buy second-hand items. For years I resisted this. Part of the reason was that my mother always shopped at vintage clothing stores when I was growing up and for that reason alone, I was hell-bent on not doing it. But now I see her infinite wisdom. And it’s not just clothing. We’ve furnished half of our flat in London with (really nice) second-hand furniture that we’ve acquired from other American families who come here for a few years and then move on. Over the past few years, we’ve chalked up sofas, rugs, waffle makers, night lights, you name it…and all at a really moderate price. I’m a member of a local women’s group that lists such second-hand sales as part of its services. But many schools, churches and other community organizations do this sort of thing regularly. So keep your eyes peeled…there are some real treasures out there and people are often dying to offload them.
5. Do some travel writing. Granted, this one is going to be easier to implement for the journalists and writers out there. But it’s amazing what kinds of deals you can get on hotels and travel arrangements if you agree to do a review. We’ve done a ton of traveling around Europe over the past few years – to places like Helsinki and Vienna and Croatia – and most of it has been possible because I arranged to do a review of the hotel where we were staying. Note: you don’t necessarily have to be a professional writer to score this kind of gig. One site that I write for is mostly just a bunch of mums offering tips for family-friendly travel. And once you’ve done one of these reviews, getting more gigs is a piece of cake. Try it! You *will* like it.
Image: Unphotographable Otto Espresso Machine by CoffeeGeek via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.
13 Comments | Books, Consumerism, Lifestyle, Tips List | Tagged: average hard cover price, brewing your own coffee, buying books, buying movies, Chicago Public Radio, family-friendly travel, frugal living, getting books at the library, going to the library, how to cut costs, how to save money, how to tamp an espresso, LoveFilm, making your own coffee, moving, Netflix, renting movies, second-hand clothing, second-hand sales, second-hand shopping, second-hand stores, travel writing, vintage clothing stores | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
May 18, 2010
Christina Katz has a great post over on her Prosperous Writer E-zine this week about what she calls “clarity.” She defines clarity as “lucidity…exactness…simplicity.”
It’s about figuring out what you need and what you want as a writer and paring down your obligations and responsibilities so that you can really zero in on what’s important. (Note: you must subscribe to her free e-zine to read this post, which I heartily recommend.)
This is great advice for both writing and life, and something I continually have to remind myself to do when I start feeling overwhelmed. “Simplicity, Simplicity, Simplicity,” as the man said.
The problem is that isn’t always that…well…simple. Sometimes you can’t achieve clarity because there are too many loose ends in your life and you have to accept that some of these just aren’t going to get tied up in short order.
Which is where I’m at right now with – oh – just about everything in my life. You see, I’ve just moved house. So everywhere I look I see unopened boxes.
There are the real boxes, those last stubborn few that simply refuse to empty themselves because – if you cared to tackle them – they’d require you to scratch your head and say: Now where does that plug go? Which cannister is that the top to? And why, again, did we decide to save that yarmulke from that bar mitzvah five years ago?
Then there are the metaphorical boxes: The stack of New Yorkers that lie unread. The emails that began to pile up the day of the move and some of which sit still – unopened – in the dark recesses of my inbox. Those last few changes of address that haven’t yet happened because it turns out that you actually need to call the pension fund in the U.S. where you still have some pocket of retirement savings during (its) business hours because they can’t process an overseas address on-line.
And then there are all those technological boxes that can’t be opened because this is the U.K. where the customer comes last. So the internet provider lost track of your account and now you have to wait another 10 days for them to come to your neighborhood to set it up. Or the bank forgot to update your address so your credit card keeps getting rejected. Or – my personal favorite – the satellite dish for the TV can’t be installed because you live on the third floor and their ladders don’t go that high. (Um…no offense, but isn’t this what you do for a living?)
It drives me insane, all this mess. Because I hate things that are un-finished. I’m the lady who sometimes adds things to my to-do list *after* I’ve done them just to feel the satisfaction of crossing them off, remember?
So I’ve been feeling really unsettled lately. (It didn’t help that for the first five days of my move the U.K. didn’t have a government. I was like “C’mon, guys! Just make up your minds, would ya?“)
And then, something weird happened. Yesterday night was my monthly book group meeting. And, on top of everything, I hadn’t finished the book. This has never happened to me before. I’m one of those hard-core, unsympathetic book group types who *always* finishes the book. But this time, I just couldn’t.
But because I love my book club, I went anyway. Even though I hadn’t finished and felt wretched about that. (It helps that we were reading Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s marvelous Half of A Yellow Sun about the Biafran War. Speaking of learning how to live with mess…)
And you know what? It felt OK to be there, even half-read. Because it was the best I could do.
My life coach has a great phrase for moments like this. She calls it “radical acceptance.” It’s for situations where things are exactly how you’d like them *not* to be – where you can’t, yet, achieve “clarity.”
So you force yourself to extend the parameters of what you’d normally find acceptable. And you decide to just roll with it. Because you know that you are on the road to clarity.
And that’s O.K.
Radical Acceptance.
Image: Unopened Boxes by CDaisyM via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.
4 Comments | Books, Expat Living, Wisdom of the Ages, Writing, productivity | Tagged: The New Yorker, To-do Lists, moving, Christina Katz, book clubs, change of address forms, british general elections, Prosperous Writer, clarity, mess, living with mess, coping with mess, half of a yellow sun, chimamanda ngozi adichie, Biafra, Biafran war, not finishing a book, hard-core book clubs, crossing off items on a to-do list, U.K. government, customer service in the UK, british customer service, installing a satellite dish, Unread email, unopened boxes, unpacking, simplicity | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
March 17, 2010
Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.
This week I’d like to take a page from Gretchen Rubin, who blogs over on The Happiness Project. From time to time, Gretchen will identify a book or movie that she thinks encapsulates certain key ideas about happiness and blog about them. (Here’s one example: a post about the movie Junebug.) I did this recently for adulthood and the film Up In The Air.
In that vein, I’ve just finished reading Muriel Barbery’s The Elegance Of The Hedgehog for my book club. This is a very small, intimate novel about an exceedingly well-educated concierge in a Paris apartment building and her relationships with its tenants. In addition to thoroughly enjoying it, here are five reasons I think that this book is essential reading for grown ups:
1. It’s about social class. Not a very American topic, I grant you. (Unless you bought into the whole John Edwards “Two Americas” thing- oh those were the days…). But boy, does it resonate over here in the U.K. right now, where social mobility is a major theme in the upcoming British elections. (Not to mention a time-honored theme in France, where the novel is set.) And to me, that’s a very grown-up topic for a novel.
2. It’s about the possibility of change. Which is – perhaps more than anything else – what defines adulthood, at least for me. Sure, all those personality tests I’ve taken basically confirm that I’m the same person I’ve always been. But growing up is about being open to change. It’s about knowing that – however sure you are of yourself – there’s always a possibility that you’ll discover something new. Or find out that something you thought was closed off to you is actually within reach. Or just recognize when it’s time to make a bold move.
3. It’s about love. But not of the sappy, head-over-heels variety. Rather, it’s about the love of one’s friends. It’s about the love you can experience when you connect with strangers. And it’s about the possibility – but just that – of romantic love.
4. It has an appropriately bittersweet ending. Some will no doubt be disappointed by how this book ends. I won’t spoil it for you. But as a die-hard fan of feelbad movies, I loved reading a book where the ending was less than 100% hunky-dorey. That’s life, as they say.
5. It’s about Paris. And what – pray tell – is more grown up than that?
*****
Today I’m over on PoliticsDaily.com talking about the central role that women voters will play in the upcoming British General Election.
Image: Hedgehog skin by gari.baldi via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.
17 Comments | Books, Current Events | Tagged: bittersweet endings, British elections, British general election, feelbad feeling, Gretchen Rubin, john edwards, June Bug, love, love of friends, making a bold move, Movies about Adulthood, Movies about Happiness, Muriel Barbery, Paris, personality tests, romantic love, Social Class, The Elegance of The Hedgehog, The Happiness Project, the possibility of change, Two Americas, Up In The Air, women voters, women's vote | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
March 1, 2010
Thursday is World Book Day. In honor of this event, the head teacher at my daughter’s school has invited all of the children to come to school with their favorite bedtime reading, dressed in their favorite pajamas.
She’s also invited all of the staff – and even the parents – to do the same. That’s right. The parents can come to drop off in their pajamas.
My first thought upon learning this was: And this is different…how?
As a freelance writer working from home, I often show up to school in some version of my PJ’s. And happily so. Wearing whatever you please is one of the many perks of the freelance life.
But apparently, it’s not for everyone. A head teacher in Belfast recently imposed a ban on parents showing up to school in their pajamas, which he described as “rude and slovenly.” As he pointed out, ‘People don’t go to see a solicitor, bank manager or doctor dressed in pyjamas, so why do they think it’s okay to drop their children off at school dressed like that?’ This was shortly after a supermarket in Wales imposed a similar ban in its store after too many women (it’s always women, isn’t it?) showed up to shop for food in their PJ’s. (Yikes! I just did that this morning!)
While my initial reaction was to get the government out of my closet, I did end up giving this matter a bit of thought. Clearly, the head teacher in question thinks that those of us who come to school half asleep are evincing some sort of disrespect towards the school, its teachers and the rest. But I’m not sure it’s quite that simple.
A lot of it is just laziness, convenience and the fact that – for many of us – just getting out the door most mornings in a semi-timely fashion is a major triumph, let alone properly dressed.
But there are other things going on as well.
One reason one doesn’t “overdress” for the school run – OK, one reason *I* don’t do it, except when it’s a new school – is that in not dressing up, I’m also trying to signal to other parents that, some days, I’m really not ready for prime time. Translated: “No, I don’t want a coffee. I don’t want to chat. I just want to go home.” (I’m reminded of a friend who once confessed that there were some mornings when she’d just like to show up at school in a Burqa. Amen, sister. I mean, praise Allah.)
But, of course, there are lots of mums who show up for the school run in their perfectly orchestrated sweater sets ready to take on the world. And their put-togetherness is also often a social cue designed to convey something to their peers.
I’m also aware that by not dressing up for the school run, I’m sending precisely the wrong message to my six-year-old tomboy daughter. She insists on wearing sweat pants, a hoodie (with zip!) and some sort of clashing, striped non-turtlenecked shirt Every. Single. Day. But how can I possibly harangue her for looking like a slob when I look like something that the cat dragged in? (“But Mommy, you haven’t combed your hair yet either…“)
All of which is to say is that even the seemingly trivial choices we make every single day are loaded.
And so I think it is an interesting question to ask: When we dress to take our children to school, whom are we dressing for (assuming we aren’t on our way to a proper job): Ourselves? Our peers? The kids? The teachers?
And should there be a minimum dress standard in place?
What do you think?
Image: Pink Pajamas by DCVision 2006 via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.
13 Comments | Books, Health and Beauty, Parenting | Tagged: freelance writing, freelance writers, burqa, working from home, pajamas, drop off, dressing for school, going to school in pajamas, world book day, bedtime reading, working in pajamas, shopping in pajamas, sweater sets, tomboy, tomboys, dress codes, parent dress codes, school dress codes | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
February 11, 2010
4 Comments | Books, Movies, Parenting | Tagged: childcare, finding a nanny, good childcare, hiring a nanny, Joan Crawford, Mommy Dearest, mother-nanny relationship, nannies, nanny, Nanny Returns, The Nanny Diaries | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
October 14, 2009
“Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.”
–Bob Hope
Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.
Yesterday, I talked about middle age as a set of attitudes. Today I’d like to complement that idea with five concrete signs that you’re middle aged:
1.You start re-reading classics. I’m a big believer in the value of re-reading. But while in Waterstone’s the other day (UK equivalent of Borders), I saw a bookmark entitled “50 Books To Read Before You Die.” And suddenly I had this panic attack that I hadn’t read every single book on the list. As it happened, I was already re-reading Wuthering Heights for my book group. But as soon as I saw that bookmark, I ran back to embrace Heathcliff with reckless abandon!
2.You leave Parties Before Midnight. I remember once taking this personality test which asked “Do you leave parties before or after midnight?” I dismissed the question entirely because at that point in my life, I didn’t show up to parties until after midnight. Boy, how times have changed. And it’s not just that I now have to pay a sitter when I go out. I actually find myself craving the solitude of…well, Heathcliff.
3. You decline alcohol because you need to exercise the next day. OK, in truth I don’t do this all that much. But I do restrain myself far more than I once did. For heaven’s sake, I used to smoke a cigarette *after* returning from a run. Or go running…to escape a hangover. Now my aging body does the mental calculation of how that morning run will feel after just one glass of wine and I find myself re-considering it.
4. You Start Renting BBC Mini-Series. It’s one of those sad truths of parenting that once you have kids, you never go out to movies anymore. My husband and I thought we’d be different than everyone else on this score but, of course, we’re not. Sure, we go to see a few of the big hits every year. I’m too much of an Oscar fan to skip those. But most of the time we rent movies about six months behind their release date. Lately, however, we have found ourselves renting assorted BBC mini-series that ran – gasp – in like the 80′s. Worse, we find them bizarrely addictive. Don’t believe me? Check out House of Cards. Tell me if you’re not hooked after Episode One.
5. You buy that Joni Mitchell album. You know that one – Both Sides Now – where she goes back and sings…Both Sides Now, except that her tone’s a little more plaintive, a little more somber, a little more…middle-aged. Worse, you buy it because you saw it featured in Love, Actually in that scene with Emma Thompson crying in the bedroom. And it’s haunted you ever since. Admit it. It has.
*****
Check out my response to the latest study showing the costs of unsafe abortions worldwide.
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Image: Joni Mitchell self-portrait by Jenny J via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.
9 Comments | Aging Ungracefully, Books, Lifestyle, Movies, Music | Tagged: middle age, Love Actually, re-reading, personality tests, reading classics, waterstones, 50 books to read before you die, wuthering heights, heathcliff, alcohol consumption, BBC Mini Series, Joni Mitchell, Both Sides Now, House of Cards, Oscar fan, Emma Thompson, illegal abortions, unsafe abortions, abortion | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
July 20, 2009
I was very saddened to hear that author Frank McCourt died yesterday at the age of 78. McCourt’s best-selling memoir of his poverty-striken childhood in Ireland – Angela’s Ashes – received the Pulitzer Prize in 1997 and stayed on the New York Times Best-Seller’s List for 117 weeks, including 23 at number 1.
But the most inspiring thing about McCourt was not just that he overcame an objectively “miserable childhood” – featuring an unemployed, alcoholic father, a life-threatening illness of his own and the death of several siblings – to achieve international literary recognition. What’s inspiring about McCourt is that he published this memoir when he was 66 years old.
I remember once reading an interview with McCourt back when the book first came out in which he admitted that while he’d sat down to tell his life’s story several times, it was only at age 66 that he finally found his voice.
And he’s not alone. Increasingly, old age seems to be a phase of life when people not only discover new talents or take on new hobbies (on that note, be sure to visit my favorite jokes website), but actually flourish professionally. I recently got an email from a friend who told me that her mother – a scientist – who recently died felt that she’d done her best work in her sixties. Then there’s architect Frank Gehry who just celebrated his 80th birthday and is still going strong.
A recent study by the Pew Research center on aging in the United States found that most adults over age 50 feel at least 10 years younger than their actual age. Older adults also said they had experienced the negative aspects of aging — including illness, loneliness and financial difficulty — far less often than younger people anticipated.
As I begin to feel those creaky aches and pains and watch as both my kids crush me in Monopoly, it’s tempting to conclude that I’ve reached the beginning of the end. But people like Frank McCourt remind us all that there’s always more life ahead.
Thank goodness for that.
*****
If you’d like to hear my rant about that newest American rage – the all-pet airline – head on over to PoliticsDaily.com.
Image: Frank McCourt by Irish Philadelphia Photo Essay via Flickr under a Creative Commons License
11 Comments | Aging Ungracefully, Books, Trends/Studies/Research | Tagged: Angela's Ashes, Frank Gehry, Frank McCourt, old age, Pet Airlines, pets, Pew Study on Aging | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
I walked into my local public library in London the other day and got a rude shock. All of my favorite librarians were gone. They’d been replaced by machines. Where the circulation desk once stood — manned by a friendly soul with whom I’d chat about politics or the weather or the latest 
Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.
Have you heard? “
