Tag Archives: long-term marriage

The Secret Language of Long Term Marriages

marriage

marriageI once read an article about the underlying codes governing long-term relationships that really struck a chord.

It was an essay by writer Joan Wickersham about the ways in which, over time, couples develop their own private lexicons with which to communicate with one another.

Wickersham talks about this dynamic within the context of marriage, but her point applies to any long-term partnership. What’s crucial is that you’re together long enough to have a shared experience which then evolves into a catch phrase that only the two of you can understand.

By way of example, she recounts the story of how – right after she married her husband – Wickersham got a job in a bank which she hated. Even though her husband had a job that he liked, he convinced her to quit her job (and he his) so that they could move somewhere else and both be happy. From there on out, “It’s like the bank” became their stock way to describe any situation that was especially bleak and dismal. Wickersham has another great story about the phrase “We’re just not serrated knife people” and what it came to mean within the context of their marriage.

Read the rest of this post over on Better After 50

Image: Marriage by Jo Christian Oterhals via Flickr

Friday Pix: Recommended Reading For The Weekend

Every Friday I point you to some worthwhile reading around the blogosphere:

1. As someone who blogs about adulthood, I really liked Jacob Weisberg’s analysis in Slate of what’s wrong with American politics right now. (Answer: The voters haven’t grown up.)

2. I absolutely adored Kate Harding’s paean to the LRB personals ads in Salon. Her own two ads are laugh-out-loud funny. And while I’m at it, allow me to plug my good friend Paul Reizin’s memoir of how he met his wife through a personals ad: Date Expectations: One Man’s Voyage Through The Lonely Hearts.

3. With all the gloomy talk of marriage lately (and the real-life implosion of several high profile marriages…I mention no names!), it was heartening to read this account of what makes for a successful long-term marriage in The Wall Street Journal. You gotta love an article that includes the Carters (as in Jimmy and Rosalyn) and the  Osbournes (as in Sharon and Ozzy) under one tent.

4. Here’s a thoughtful piece by author Dani Shapiro in The Los Angeles Times about how publishing has overtaken writing as a goal for writers these days.

5. Finally, I was delighted to discover (via Practicing Writing) this new (to me) blog about the adventures of an expatriate writer called Writer Abroad. For obvious reasons, I was particularly taken with this post on how one can become addicted to living abroad.

Oh yes. And please do follow me on Twitter!

Add to FacebookAdd to NewsvineAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Furl