Tag Archives: vera farmiga

Tips For Adulthood: Five Reasons Up In The Air Is For Grown Ups

Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.

My husband and I went to see Up In The Air last weekend, which has just been released in the U.K. We really liked it (even if one of us didn’t think Vera Farmiga was all that hot…ahem.) And yet, when we came home and talked about the film with our 17 year-old sitter, I didn’t advise her to go see it. In fact, I’m not sure I’d advise anyone under the age of 30 to see this movie.

Why is this, you ask? It’s not the sex (of which there’s none, and only one shot of nudity) or the violence (ditto). It’s just that for my mind, this is a really grown-up movie that can’t be well appreciated by someone who’s not…well…middle-aged.

So despite the PG-15 rating, here are five reasons why I think this is a movie for grown-ups (Spoiler Alert! If you haven’t yet seen the movie yet, this post contains some revealing information!):

1. It’s about the economy. As my former colleague Michelle Brafman notes, this is a movie where the recession plays a starring role. It’s a movie about downsizing, lay-offs and the way in which technological advances affect office life. I’m not saying that someone in their 20s can’t appreciate those things, but they won’t have quite the bite that they do for people who’ve lived through a few economic booms and busts. Evidence in support of this theory: the most moving parts of the film are all shots of real-life middle-aged or older people whose entire lives have been turned upside down by getting fired.

2. It’s about feminism. This is also a movie about feminism – as I define it – by which I mean women making independent – and sometimes shocking – choices about their lives. In this case, that amounts to having an affair (not so shocking) and not wanting to ditch everything for your apparent soul-mate, even if he’s George Clooney (a bit more  shocking). There’s a point in the film where the 20-something, tightly wound, overly professional and overly idealistic colleague of the Clooney character thanks Farmiga’s character for “all her generation has done for feminism.” We’re meant to laugh, because there’s only about 10 years between them. But later on in the film – when Farmiga tells Clooney that she’s a grown-up and that he should call her when he’s ready to play with the big kids (i.e. to accept a sexual friendship with no strings attached) –  we understand that the last laugh’s on us. This lady *is* liberated.

3. It’s about commitment. As many people have already observed, this is also a film about loyalty and commitment. In my own view – and as I’ve written in this space many times before – it’s incredibly hard to stay committed to the same person over the long haul. And that’s just not something young people worry about. They’re off experimenting and having fun and aren’t terribly bothered by what’s coming next or how long anything lasts. And that’s just as it should be.

4. The romantic leads are middle-aged. At one point in the movie, the script (foolishly, IMHO) suggests that Farmiga’s character is 34. She looks more like 38 or 40 but whatever. The point is that while she’s no Meryl Streep in It’s Complicated – (and despite what my husband thinks, Vera Farmiga *is* hot) – nor is she the young, naïve 23 year-old who also co-stars in this film. At one point, I thought they’d write the ending so that Clooney ends up with the younger woman. Thank goodness they didn’t. The whole point of this film is that it’s about what it’s like to fall in love – or “in like” as the case may be – when you’ve already been around the block a few times.

5. It doesn’t have a happy ending. I’ll fess up to having a preference for dark movies and sad endings. This film has neither. But – other than for the 23 year old – nor do things end on a particularly tidy note. Which is – dare I say it – a tad more realistic. And also comforting for those of us who’ve also been around the block.

*****

For those who are interested, please do have a look at my post in PoliticsDaily.com yesterday on whether universities breed terror.

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Middle Aged Desire: Two Scenes and a Moral

Over the weekend, I had two encounters which prompted me to think about desire in middle age. Borrowing a page from the wonderful Formerly Hot, I thought I’d share them with you:

SCENE ONE:

Setting: Grim public library in London on rainy, Saturday afternoon. DELIA stands hunched over computer, desperately searching for CD of first Pirates of the Caribbean movie for son before daughter’s ballet class finishes. She is clad in loose-fitting long, dark Eddie Bauer-style winter parka, which she hasn’t bothered to take off because she is in such a hurry. She looks vaguely like a parking lot attendant, save the over-stuffed cloth bag from Daunt Books, which hangs precariously over one shoulder.

MAN of unknown age, face and ethnicity approaches neighboring computer terminal and also begins typing.

MAN (clearing throat): Um…is this the library catalog?

DELIA (not looking up): Yes.

MAN (noticing her accent): Oh! Are you American?

DELIA (still typing): Yes.

MAN: How long are you visiting for?

DELIA (distracted): I live here.

MAN: With your husband?

DELIA: Yes.

MAN flees.

Analysis:

My First Thought: Yay! I’ve still got it!

My Second Thought: Wait a minute…he never saw my face, I’m wearing a tent, and he basically only approached me because…I’m female.

My Third Thought: Gross.

SCENE TWO:

Setting: Camden Town restaurant where two middle-aged couples pour over the film Up In The Air, which they’ve just seen.

HUSBAND: Call me crazy, but I just don’t think Vera Farmiga is all that hot.

Analysis:

My First Thought: What is he smoking?

My Second Thought: Yay! My husband finds me more attractive than Vera Farmiga.

My Third Thought: What am *I* smoking?
Moral of Both Stories: There’s no accounting for taste.

Stay tuned for my thoughts on why Up In The Air is a really grown-up movie…

Image: Untitled by Jfer via Flickr under a Creative Commons license.

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