July 31, 2009
This Friday I direct you to some recommended reading around the blogosphere:
1. NPR’s list of books that helped us grow up. A friend of mine just found a copy of Deenie in her basement-sigh!
2. And speaking of literature, if you’re a David Foster Wallace fan (or wanna-be, like yours truly) you might want to join in the Infinite Summer project, an online book club that’s reading Wallace’s Infinite Jest over the course of this summer (only one third through-there’s still time to join!) While you’re at it, a helpful reader pointed me to this interview with DFW posted on the reader’s blog, Rough Fractals.
3. For those of us looking to jump start our job hunt during the recession, have a look at this video resume. You will not be disappointed. (Hat Tip: Marci Alboher, Working the New Economy).
4. The New York Times’ Judith Warner talks about what it’s like to mourn in middle age.
5. For the visually inclined, take a look at this collection of living pictures formed by thousands of U.S. soldiers. Very cool!
6. Finally, I love the concept of this blog, A Midlife Of Privilege. (Subtitle: A WASP stops to consider.) Love it!
*****
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3 Comments | 
Recommended Reading | Tagged: recession, Marci Alboher, Judith Warner, middle age, mourning, david foster wallace, infinite jest, rough fractals, infinite summer, deenie, books about growing up, video resume, working the new economy, job hunt, living pictures, U.S. soldiers, a midlife of privilege, WASP | 
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Posted by delialloyd
July 27, 2009
Leave a Comment » | Current Events, Expat Living | Tagged: Gordon Brown, grown ups, In Betweeners, Labour party, New Labour, Peggy Noonan, republican party, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin resignation, Tony Blair, Wall Street Journal | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
July 24, 2009
My five year-old daughter has a lisp.
Not an in-your-face, over-the-top Sylvester the Cat “Suffering Succotash’” sort of thing. But a fairly straight forward, middle-of-the-road inter-dental lisp.
Last Fall, we took her to see a speech therapist to work on it. And even though I knew that the therapy would prove helpful, I secretly dreaded going. In my mind, you see, the lisp was a stigma. It was something that set her apart from the other kids and made her more difficult to understand. And so I approached the topic of speech therapy with her very delicately, afraid that she’d be ashamed to tell her friends at school why she needed to leave early every Monday afternoon.
Boy was I off base.
Not only did my daughter love going to speech therapy every week, it became a tremendous source of pride for her. She loved having a challenge that she could clearly identify and then – with a bit of elbow grease – overcome. She poured over the exercises the speech therapist sent home. As the weeks wore on, she mastered “ch” then “sh” then “zh” then “j.” And while we never quite fully nailed the “s,” the therapist is confident that with the progress she’s shown so far, if we wait a little while and come back to it, she’ll master that as well.
So we put it aside, a bit wiser for the wear.
Fast forward to this summer when we watched not one, but two movies back to back in which a major character has a lisp. The first was The Music Man, a film whose praises I believe I’ve sung before. In this movie, the character of Winthrop – played by a very young Ron Howard (of Opie and then Richie and now Famous Director fame) – is so stymied by his own lisp that he barely speaks to anyone outside his family. (Take a look at Howard and co-star Robert Preston singing Gary, Indiana.) My daughter was so taken with this film that she began requesting that I sing “Wells Fargo Wagon” every night before she went to bed, just so she could sing the part where Winthrop lisps.
Then we went to see Night At The Museum: Battle At The Smithsonian. Here, one of the lead adult characters – Kamunrah (played by a hysterically funny Hank Azaria) – has a lisp. This really caught my daughter’s attention. Half way through the movie she leaned over and whispered: “He’s a grown up and he has a lisp!” Following her lead (because I’d learned a thing or two by now), I answered, “Yes, he does! Lots of grown ups have lisps.” She was positively enchanted. The next morning she took out all of her “s” work from her speech therapy folder and insisted that we begin working on it again.
This experience was instructive for me on so many levels. First, it reminded me that – as with so many things – we end up learning so much more from our children than they do from us. For me, the lisp was a weakness to conceal. For her, it became a source of empowerment.
Second, it also reminded me that one of the hardest things to learn as a parent is how not to burden your children with your own issues.
Finally, I got to re-memorize the lyrics to “Wells Fargo Wagon.” Imagine my delight!
*****
Sorry, folks, it’s been a short work-week so my Friday pix will have to wait. If you want to catch up on my “must reads,” head on over to Twitter, where I tweet them all week long at: http://twitter.com/realdelia.
Not on Twitter yet, you say? Use this as an excuse to sign up!
Image: Wells, Fargo Wagon by ViperWD via Flickr under a Creative Commons License
10 Comments | Parenting, Wisdom of the Ages | Tagged: battle at the smithsonian, gary, hank azaria, indiana, inter-dental, lisp, lisps, music man, night at the museum, opie, Robert Preston, ron howard, speech therapy, suffering succotash, sylvester the cat, wells fargo wagon | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
July 22, 2009
Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.
So this morning I was riding a bus and I happened to read an op-ed by Eric Weiner in the International Herald Tribune about happiness. The basic thrust of the article (which appeared in Monday’s New York Times) was that Denmark has once again been ranked as “The Happiest Country in the World” according to a Eurobarometer survey. It’s a distinction that this country has held for the last 30 years. The article goes on to argue that the reason that the Danes enjoy such happiness is that they have lower expectations than the rest of us.
Hmmmm. As someone who regularly sets the bar too high in just about everything I do, I had trouble swallowing this at first. But when I thought about it, I realized that Weiner – and the Danes – have a point. After all, lowering your expectations doesn’t mean letting go of your dreams, as Simon James notes in this funny and spot-on post on the Freelance Writing Jobs Network. It just means approaching life with a somewhat different mindset.
In that spirit - and if for no other reason than to knock Denmark off its happiness-survey perch – here are five tips for lowering your expectations:
1. Accept that B+ is OK. Or, if you prefer a baseball analogy: stick to base hits. You don’t need to knock it out of the park every time. I have a good friend who’s a self-employed IT consultant. At one point in her career, she decided to take on more work without increasing her hours so that she could still spend a reasonable amount of time with her kids. “How did you manage that?” I asked. “I don’t deliver A level work all the time anymore. I finally realized that B+ is OK.” I thought about that comment for years. Which brings us to…
2. Realize that No One Cares. I think that many of us harbor this sense that the world is watching – and judging – every last decision that we make. I myself walk around with a panel of elders – a semi-circle of aging wise men who collectively monitor my every move. But the hard truth, folks, is that most people don’t give a sh$# what you do with your life. They’re too wrapped up in their own lives to bother with yours. And once you realize that no one’s watching, you can ease up a bit on yourself.
3. Recognize that Happiness May Be Fleeting. Another way to say this is that sh#$ happens and you can’t control much of what comes your way. The Danes themselves apparently temper their “happiest” status with the expression “lige nu” which means something like “for now.” When you embrace happiness as a scarce commodity, it enables you to enjoy what you have right now instead of always reaching for the next frontier.
4. Imagine the Worst Case Scenario. Sometimes, when I’m really freaking out because I fear that I’ve failed to achieve one of my goals, I imagine the worst possible thing that could befall me in that arena. And when I do that, I usually realize that I haven’t hit rock bottom and consequently appreciate whatever it is I have accomplished, even if it falls below what I wanted. Case in point: I’ve written a novel. But, so far, I haven’t managed to sell it. The worst case scenario is that I’ll never sell it. And that would really suck. But then I remind myself that unlike two years ago, I’m no longer talking about writing a novel anymore. I’ve actually done it. And I feel a bit better.
5. Move to Denmark. If all else fails, move to Copenhagen. I hear they have excellent pastries.
Image: Morning Buns by Cacaobug via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.
7 Comments | Self-development, Tips List | Tagged: danish, danishes, denmark, eric weiner, eurobarometer, freelance writing jobs, happiness, happiness surveys, lowering expectations, simon james | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
July 20, 2009
I was very saddened to hear that author Frank McCourt died yesterday at the age of 78. McCourt’s best-selling memoir of his poverty-striken childhood in Ireland – Angela’s Ashes – received the Pulitzer Prize in 1997 and stayed on the New York Times Best-Seller’s List for 117 weeks, including 23 at number 1.
But the most inspiring thing about McCourt was not just that he overcame an objectively “miserable childhood” – featuring an unemployed, alcoholic father, a life-threatening illness of his own and the death of several siblings – to achieve international literary recognition. What’s inspiring about McCourt is that he published this memoir when he was 66 years old.
I remember once reading an interview with McCourt back when the book first came out in which he admitted that while he’d sat down to tell his life’s story several times, it was only at age 66 that he finally found his voice.
And he’s not alone. Increasingly, old age seems to be a phase of life when people not only discover new talents or take on new hobbies (on that note, be sure to visit my favorite jokes website), but actually flourish professionally. I recently got an email from a friend who told me that her mother – a scientist – who recently died felt that she’d done her best work in her sixties. Then there’s architect Frank Gehry who just celebrated his 80th birthday and is still going strong.
A recent study by the Pew Research center on aging in the United States found that most adults over age 50 feel at least 10 years younger than their actual age. Older adults also said they had experienced the negative aspects of aging — including illness, loneliness and financial difficulty — far less often than younger people anticipated.
As I begin to feel those creaky aches and pains and watch as both my kids crush me in Monopoly, it’s tempting to conclude that I’ve reached the beginning of the end. But people like Frank McCourt remind us all that there’s always more life ahead.
Thank goodness for that.
*****
If you’d like to hear my rant about that newest American rage – the all-pet airline – head on over to PoliticsDaily.com.
Image: Frank McCourt by Irish Philadelphia Photo Essay via Flickr under a Creative Commons License
11 Comments | Aging Ungracefully, Books, Trends/Studies/Research | Tagged: Angela's Ashes, Frank Gehry, Frank McCourt, old age, Pet Airlines, pets, Pew Study on Aging | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
July 17, 2009
This Friday I point you to some recommended reading around the blogosphere:
1. If you’re intrigued by the public sculpture “plinth” project currently underway in London, here are some really cool videos to go with it.
2. I liked this person’s pro-active approach to setting up a summer reading program for grown-ups. If you’re running out of summer reading ideas, why not try some of these lost or unpublished works by some of the great names of modern literature.
3. And while we’re on the subject of modern literature, I was delighted to come across this blog at the National Book Foundation, which features a blog a day on the winners of the National Book Award from 1950-2008. (Hat Tip: the ever-useful Practicing Writing blog).
4. Finally, if you’re a fan of the New York Times’ Modern Love column, you’ll love this new (to me) blog deconstructing each week’s winners (Hat Tip: Lisa Romeo Writes).
*****
I’m on twitter! So if you tweet and would like even more daily updates on what I’m reading and generally up to, please follow me @realdelia.
2 Comments | Recommended Reading | Tagged: great names of modern literature, grown ups, Lisa Romeo Writes, Making Modern Love, Modern Love, National Book Award, National Book Foundation, plinth, Practicing Writing blog, realdelia, summer reading | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
July 15, 2009
Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.
This week’s post was inspired by an article in the Washington Post that caught my eye. It noted that the American Dietetic Association has recently adjusted its guidelines to state that vegetarian diets can be healthy for children as well as adults.
Personally, I love meat. Bacon…steak…lamb chops. Bring it on. Plus, I’ve got a kid who’s allergic to most fish and nuts. So that pretty much ensures that we’ll continue to eat meat for some time as a family. Still, the more I learn about vegetarianism (and the more films I see about the meat-processing industry – see below) the more I call my own carnivore tendencies into question.
So in the grand spirit of “Do as I say, not as I do,” here are five reasons you should become a vegetarian:
1. Slaughtering animals is vile. Don’t believe me? Go see Fast Food Nation. That should safely do it for cows. Still don’t believe me? Go see the new documentary, Food, Inc. There goes chicken!
2. Tofu is surprisingly OK. Let’s face it, tofu is gross. It looks weird, feels weird and tastes weird. But if you slather it with enough sauce it’s just fine. And very, very good for you.
3. Vegetarians have less cancer. Or so this new study claims.
4. Vegetarians aren’t all freak shows. The single best defense of vegetarianism I’ve ever read was by Taylor Clark in Slate Magazine about a year ago. And he doesn’t like tofu either!
5. Vegetarians may have better Sex. The jury’s still out on this one but hey, why not try it and see?
*****
If you’re interested, have a look at my piece on universal health care in yesterday’s Politics Daily entitled “Ten Things You Might Not Know About Socialized Medicine.”
Image: An Experiment in Vegetarianism by Supernalorealm via Flickr under a Creative Commons License.
10 Comments | Food, Health and Beauty, Lifestyle | Tagged: american dietetic association, carnivores, child vegetarians, fast food nation, food inc, politics daily, socialized medicine, taylor clark, tofu, universal health care, vegetarian cancer risk, vegetarian sex, vegetarianism, vegetarians | Permalink
Posted by delialloyd
Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.
As the health care debate heats up in the States, I’m weighing in once again on the joys of socialized medicine over on PoliticsDaily.com.
I’ve talked before on this blog about how politicians on both sides of the aisle in the U.S. have been employing the discourse of “grown ups.” In particular, Peggy Noonan – a prominent conservative columnist at the Wall Street Journal – has repeatedly called upon (her own) Republican party to “grow up,” most recently in 
I’m over at Politics Daily today blogging about epidurals during childbirth.
