Does your actual age tell you anything about where you *are* in adulthood?

I got to thinking about this lately after two public policy proposals emerged that explicitly addressed this very question.

The first was a recommendation earlier this summer in Japan to lower the official age of adulthood from 20 to 18. The reasoning? To encourage young adults to vote, participate in society more and assume their own credit card debt. In short:  to cultivate a greater sense of responsibility, that hallmark of adulthood.

The second is a proposal thrown out at the Conservative Party Conference in the UK last week to raise the official retirement age in this country to 66 (It is currently 65 for men and 60 for women). The logic here is predominantly fiscal – to shore up budget deficits by paying out less in government pension schemes. But Conservative Party Leader David Cameron also noted that with average life expectancy at 86 (up from 81 five years ago), people can now be more productive at an older age. The upshot: we can elevate the age at which it is “reasonable” to stop working.

Me? At the risk of sounding like a Juicy Fruit commercial, I’ve always thought about the stages of adulthood as more of a feeling than a flavor. Which is to say, I don’t think numbers mean all that much when talking about things like responsibility and productivity. (Some nagging feeling tells me I’ve gotten my 1970s chewing gum commercials mixed up…perhaps another inadvertent sign of aging.)

Take middle age. As noted in this recent article in the Times On Line, middle age can technically be defined as lying anywhere between 35 and 65. But as the author points out, “middle age” is much more of an attitude than a precise time of life.

I was reminded of this over the weekend, when my husband and I had a younger colleague and his wife over for lunch. They were both probably in their early 30s – maybe 10 or 12 years younger than us – so not such a huge age difference. But what really struck me most as we talked was what a different place they were at in life. To wit:

1. Choosing what kind of job best suited their career ambitions vs. rethinking career entirely.

2. Exploring neighborhoods in London to find the best fit vs. grimly routing out rodents in effort to come to peace with (exceedingly well-located) closet.

3. Sleeping in until 11 am vs. not being able to remember a time when 7 didn’t feel self-indulgent.

I don’t say any of this with envy. (OK, maybe a tinge of envy.) I very much embrace the idea of life as one giant adventure, into which we never quite “settle in.” And I like to think that this is the feeling that carries us through the different stages of adulthood. Indeed, that is – in many ways – what this blog is all about.

But that lunch did serve one of those “aha” moments in life where you suddenly realize that you’ve…grown up. To wit: as soon as they departed, my husband began grumbling about needing to change his contact lenses. And I said that my back hurt and I really needed to go home and do my exercises.

Yup, folks. We’re middle aged.

*****

One of my quiet obsessions these days is what’s going on with the European Left. Here’s my post in yesterday’s PoliticsDaily.com about Ten Reasons the Left is Failing in Europe.

Image: The Taste is Gonna Mooova Ya by Pirate Johnny via Flickr under a Creative Commons License

This Friday I point you to some recommended reading around the blogosphere:

1. I liked Jacob Weisberg’s thoughtful piece in Slate on the demise of intellectually serious Conservatism and why that’s bad for the Right and the Left.

2. I absolutely loved this story in the Washington Post about a world-class violinist who tries to get people to stop and – literally – hear the music in a subway station. Be sure you look at the videos and read the piece.

3. Here’s a great essay that all writers should read about that eternal tension between writing and “the day job.” (Hat Tip: Practicing Writing.)

4. This is a great article by Salon’s Andrew O’Hehir about why he and his wife chose to home school their children and the judgments they faced from other parents. It’s a must-read for anyone who’s a parent.

5. Finally, in case you thought we were done with sex scandals, here’s my take on the latest one to emerge…from France.

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Every Wednesday I offer tips for adulthood.

This Wednesday’s list comes from the interview I watched last Friday night with Barbra Streisand on the Jonathan Ross show. As I gushed on Monday, I think there are a lot of things about Barbra that make her truly admirable. But some of what I learned about her during this interview also resonated with my views on adulthood:

1. Be Gutsy. One mark of adulthood is the willingness to put yourself out there. Streisand is nothing if not gutsy. In addition to her many different professional endeavors, she’s been outspoken on her political views for years. Have a look at her website. In addition to the usual fan memorabilia and updates about her new album, there are links to articles about public policy and a list of “truth alerts” to correct public figures when she thinks they are lying. Gutsiness is also a feature of her personal life. In the Jonathan Ross interview, she told the story of how – the first time she met her husband – she reached out and touched his hair without thinking. That act sparked a relationship of 11 years (and counting…).

2. Be Vulnerable. At the same time, it’s important to admit your weaknesses. My favorite moment in the Ross interview was when she confessed that she’s terrified about performing in front of live audiences where she can see people’s eyes. Huh? 30 top ten albums and you get nervous in front of crowds? But she does. And that explains why she so rarely performs in small venues like nightclubs. I liked her more once she admitted this about herself.

3. Try Different Things Inside Your Career. What sets Streisand aside from many other stars of her generation is the sheer variety of things that she’s done in her life professionally (and succeeded at). Actress. Singer. Songwriter. Screenwriter. Producer. Director. She simply hasn’t allowed herself to get stale and that’s because she’s always taking on new challenges.

4. Try Different Things Outside Your Career. But equally impressive are the things she’s done outside her career. In addition to her foundation – which has contributed money to all sorts of political and environmental causes – she’s currently at work on a book…about architecture. Lots of celebrities write auto-biographies and it looks like she’ll do that, too. But in the meantime, she’s thinking mostly about design. Wow.

5. Don’t Write Off Plastic Surgery. Hey, I’m not usually one to advocate “getting work done.” But I must say, Barbra has clearly put herself under the knife and she looks pretty impressive for 67. It made me think twice, anyway…

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Guess he’s not Jewish after all. Or maybe he is. Read my follow on about Ahmadinejad’s alleged Jewish roots here…

Image: Village Vanguard by Luizfilipe via Flickr under a Creative Commons license.

I woke up Friday morning in a very good mood. For I knew that at 9 pm that evening, Barbra Streisand was going to be interviewed and then perform live on the Jonathan Ross show here in London.

Let me to preface all of this by saying that I’m not a huge Streisand fan by any standard measure. I don’t own any of her albums, and I’ve only seen a handful of her movies. But I still find her tremendously inspiring.

And she’s inspiring in precisely the same way that author Frank McCourt – who passed away recently – was inspiring. In McCourt’s case – and as I wrote about when he died – he reminded us that 66 isn’t too old to pursue your childhood dreams. That’s the year he published his break-out hit, Angela’s Ashes. In Streisand’s case, she reminds us that 67 isn’t too old to keep on pursuing your childhood dreams. She just released her latest album, “Love Is The Answer,” and performed live at the Village Vanguard two weekends ago for the first time in 40 some years.

I know that some people aren’t wild about Barbra. They don’t like her politics. They don’t like her personality. Fair enough. But here are just a few things to remember about Streisand before you diss her:

1. She is the top female recording artist in American history. Wow. I had no idea.

2. She doesn’t read music and can’t really be bothered to do warm-ups or vocal exercises.

3. She’s the only person to receive an Oscar for both acting (Funny Girl) and song-writing (A Star is Born).

4. She’s got star power. Even Stevie Wonder was obliged to do the standard Jonathan Ross show where he appeared alongside two other guests. Barbra got a solo interview. Unheard of.

Me? I could watch The Way We Were every weekend of my life. The way it ends with that bittersweet reunion between Streisand and Redford’s characters on a busy New York street and all the longing, regret and acceptance built into that scene? In a word: adulthood. And I also loved The Prince of Tides – which Streisand directed. (Dysfunctional family, decline of American South, personal journey towards self-hood, plus Jewish New York Therapist all rolled into one? What’s not to love?)

If you’re still wondering how you feel about Streisand, listen to this You Tube clip of her performing Send in The Clowns. Devastating.

Oh yes. And stay tuned for Wednesday’s post for more life lessons from Barbra…

*****

Moving from the sublime to the ridiculous, do check out my post on PoliticsDaily.com about Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s newest secret…he’s Jewish!

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Image: Barbra Streisand by Nadwork via Flickr under a Creative Commons License

This Friday I point you to some recommended reading around the blogosphere:

1. I really enjoyed this mid-life mom’s account of what it was like to spend a day at her son’s middle school in Good Housekeeping.

2. And speaking of mid-life, I thought that  this column in the New York Times Happy Days blog about the road not taken (a topic near and dear to my heart) hit it right on the head.

3. On a more serious note, here’s a thoughtful piece about how we ought to re-examine the age of responsibility for things like drinking, driving and more.

4. In the realm of clever, here are 10 uncommon economic indicators from Forbes, while in the realm of cool, here are actual photos – reprinted in the Guardian – of life before birth.

5. Finally, just because I told you last week to limit your children’s computer time, Babble ran an article on 15 kids video games that build brain power.

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I’ve written before on this blog about changing your religion in adulthood. A recent poll found that half of all Americans change religion during adulthood. But what about abandoning your religion entirely?

Today, I’m over on PoliticsDaily.com talking about the rise of atheism in the U.S. and the U.K., and some of its more humorous offshoots. (Spoiler Alert: Prove the Unicorn Doesn’t Exist game…)

Come on over and have a look, and leave a comment if you dare. I’m sure I’ll be thoroughly pilloried by readers. (FYI: for those of you who are put off by the need to register with AOL before leaving a comment on the site, don’t worry. They just want to know that you have a valid email address and once you register, you can visit as much as you like.)

Enjoy!

Image: Unicorn Cosplay by Sam Howzit via Flickr under a Creative Commons License